I was in earnest. Before all of this happened. I wanted what I said I did. I had a perfect picture in my mind of a utopia where everyone and everything functions together perfectly. My ideas were something I deeply believed in. I could cry at will and make people more sympathetic to my cause. I believed I was going to help change the world for better. I was in earnest.
I didn’t think that the people who would help my cause would betray it like they did. I thought that those helping would be like me. Passionate about the cause. I am furious now. But only because they have manipulated the world I dreamed and turned it into a nightmare.
I can still cry at will though, but for a different reason. I understand what they thought now. What can a crying woman do? So now I cry in front of my husband and anyone I can. If I cry to them it must mean I am helpless.
“They don’t know what I am doing though.”
They don’t know what I am doing though. I am not helpless. I am a fighter and I have always been one. Even if it was for a cause I naively believed in I still fought. That is what I will continue to do. I will fight to free all of us. I have a new dream and a new reason to shed my tears in the living room. I won’t just let whatever happens happen. I have already contacted some people who have been fighting and now we will all rebel together.