The Choice

I was wrong. I realize that now. Before, when I gave all of those speeches, I probably would have said that Gilead is the ideal situation. And it was, at first. I thought that I was getting what I wanted, at first. What has happened here was never my intention, however. Maybe I thought that it was, in the beginning. But that was before I knew there would be no choices for us here.

“BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW THERE WOULD BE NO CHOICES FOR US HERE.”

Before Gilead, many of those I worked against fought for women to have choices. Those people hated me then. They hated me so much that they tried to end my life, more than once.

They fought so hard for women to have these choices, and then I don’t think that I really understood. But now I understand, now that I don’t have any choices of my own. I realize now that even then choices were what I wanted. I wanted women to choose to stay home. I wanted women to choose not to work, to be supported by their husbands only. The truth is, I did not want any of this.

“I WANTED TO WOMEN TO CHOOSE TO STAY HOME. I WANTED WOMEN TO CHOOSE NOT TO WORK, TO STAY AT HOME.”

I did not choose to be told what to wear. I did not choose to have all my chores in my house taken over by Martha’s. I did not choose to have my every move watched and controlled by men. I certainly did not choose to have another woman come into my home and have sex repeatedly with my husband.

But then again, I realize that she did not choose this, either.

None of us chose this.

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